It's been too long since I've been on here. It's funny to think how much things have changed in just a short amount of time. First and foremost, I want to make mention of the Sandy Hook tragedy that took place last week. That horrible day not only affected the lives of all the students, faculty and families of those at the school, but I believe this indecent will have and has had ramifications in all our lives.
That day I was at a change of command ceremony all morning and most of the afternoon. I was delighted in the fact that this would be my first time in my 11 year career I would be wearing a full dress uniform with medals and all. I thought that we all looked great and was honored as usual to take part in yet another fine Navy tradition. All the guys from the office were looking good and I felt proud to be part of something bigger than myself. On our return from the ceremony, I grabbed my phone to take a group picture and that's when the world as I knew it shattered. Gone was the moment of pride, replaced by that of confusion, fear and shame!
As I turned my phone on, voice mails, texts and Facebook messages filled my notification screen. I have a big family and many friends, but have never received this many notifications at once. Immediately I went into panic mode and my fingers starting moving faster than my brain could keep up with. First voice mail was from my mom asking if the kids were o.k. The second was from my wife assuring me that everything was fine and asking if I had seen the news. Before I knew it I was on Facebook looking for info I could find....nothing. Only more messages asking for me to let people know we were safe. All those people closest to me knew that I had just transferred to CT five months before. I moved pretty quickly inside our building only to find people glued to the few T.V.'s we have. I didn't stop to look. I went straight to my phone and dialed my wife, eager to hear the news that got everyone so worked up. Once she answered, she quickly explained the events of that morning and filled my in on the up to date news. My heart shattered. What started out as a proud morning rapidly changed to an afternoon of guilt, sadness and shame. Sandy Hook was only about an hour and a half away. The children that died were the same age as my handsome son. How could this happen?
That evening my daughter come home in tears and had many questions that a normal 11 year old should not be asking. My son luckily is still young enough that this tragedy didn't resonate in his young mind. That night I could not help but cry when I thought of those families that have lost a baby while I was lucky enough to hold mine. As I showered, I found myself crying even more as I prayed to God and asked him for forgiveness and thanking him for all I have in my life. I thought about how the first argument taking place on all news stations was how we needed more gun control. There was no mention of values or personal responsibility that our wonderful nation has moved away from. In that shower, I could not wash the shame off of myself fast enough. I stepped out, dried myself off and felt as dirty as I had when I first turned on the water. To think that the majority of our country believes that gun control would somehow have changed, or will change our problems was inexplicable to me.
I believe as a nation and as human beings we need to look further within ourselves and get to the root of our problems. I don't want to get into any more debates regarding gun control and mental health. We need to do a better job at not pointing a finger and say that what's at the end of that finger is the source of the problem, unless it is pointed at oneself. We need to demand that our leaders do a better job setting an example and accept nothing less. We should demand that our news resources give us the best and accurate information possible and not speculate with wrong information as many of them did. When and why would it ever be o.k. to put traumatized babies on T.V.? How are we letting the media get away with this? This is what I mean when I say that we as people have to be accountable to demand the best out of ourselves and those around us. Unless we start doing this again, our future and those of our children will be no better than that tragic day!
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